By Keren Amkraut
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I
Orion’s eyes peering out of the dark
Like pinpricks of ethereal gold
Heaven burning in the vast void
Ink trapped for the universe to behold
The darkest hue of nighttime
The loftiest of thin aired homes
A man hurtling toward salvation
The deep color of the unknown
II
Cherub’s bright stare as he aims true
Like the indigo threads in the gatherer’s loom
Souls soaring high in the watercolor skies
Thin wings reaching to where no man tries
The color of the fine mist of expensive perfume
The ceiling that one dreams of when lying in his room
A lover kissing the wind after his first touch
The assurance that the sun will rise after dusk
III
Jacob’s ladder as he climbs to his dreams
Tiffany eggs nested in the boughs of oak trees
Wood paneled floors reaching out onto sand
Cold fingers holding ice frosted hands
The whistling of a jazz musician out on the street
The color of victory and the color of defeat
A gift from the soil round sweet and tart
The veins drawing blood in a human heart
IV
Jonah’s whale cresting the tide
Like a harbinger of the unknown
Echoless eons of Earth’s sapphire tears
Cerulean laughter lapping on dark stone
The deepest depth of tincture
The most turbulent of foes
A woman standing at the precipice
The color of dipping in her toes
Critique
Hi Keren!
The imagery in this piece is gorgeous. The various descriptions are each beautiful and picturesque, illustrating various shades of blue in a variety of ways. The rhyme and rhythm of the piece are also well executed. However, despite the beauty in the writing, an ultimate message or purpose was difficult to ascertain. Additionally, the first stanza has some cohesion, with its various astronomical descriptions. However, the next three stanzas lack that cohesion, and although the descriptions are lovely, they seem a bit arbitrarily placed together, without any common theme. For that reason, this piece in some ways felt a bit lacking. Still, it was a lovely to read, and clearly you have a lot of descriptive skill. Thanks so much for submitting!